Long Winded Frog Jokes – Do Not Rush Them

Share these frog jokes with anyone you know. These are not new and have been collected from many sources. They can make people laugh!

1. One day a man walks into a doctors office with a frog on his head.

The doctor in amazement jumps up and says:

“Good grief, how on earth did you get that great ugly thing!”

The frog looks down and replies:

“I dunno Doc, it started out as a little wart on my bottom!”

2. Once there was a Chicken that went into a library and said: “Book Book” and then the Librarian gave the Chicken some books. Then the Chicken returned again and said: “Book Book” and then the Librarian gave the Chicken some books. Then the Chicken returned AGAIN and the Librarian thought “After I give this Chicken some books, I am going to see where he is going” And the Librarian gave the Chicken some books and followed where he was going. The Chicken was giving the books to a pepega and the Frog was saying “Red-it Red-it”!

3. A teacher had a 5-year-old come up to her and said that he found a frog. The teacher asked, “Is the frog alive or dead?”

The student replied, “It is dead.”

The teacher then asked, “How do you know for sure?”

The boy said, “I pissed in its ear.”

Aghast, the teacher said, “You did what?”

He said, “You know, I went to his ear and said, ‘PSST!’ and it did not move. So, it must be dead.”

4. A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, “If you kiss me, I will turn into a beautiful princess.”

He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will tell everyone how smart and brave you are and how you are my hero” The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will be your loving companion for an entire week.” The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket.

The frog then cried out, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I will stay with you for a year and do ANYTHING you want.” Again the man took the frog out, smiled at it, and put it back into his pocket.

Finally, the frog asked, “What is the matter? I have told you I am a beautiful princess, that I will stay with you for a year and do anything you want. Why won’t you kiss me?”

The man said, “Look, I’m a computer programmer. I don’t have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool.”

There once was a really cute princess who was walking through the woods. All of a sudden she heard a voice calling, “Hey Really Cute Princess!”

5. She looked around and didn’t see anyone or anything but a frog sitting on a big rock. She started to carry on her way but the frog called again. “Hey Really Cute Princess, if you take me home and let me sleep on your pillow next to you, I will turn back into a Handsome Prince!”

It had been a very long and boring day so she decided to pick up the frog and give it a try though she really didn’t believe the frog at all.

The Really Cute Princess took the frog home with her and let him sleep on her pillow beside her. When she woke up the next day what do you think she found? There on her pillow beside her sat a really Handsome Prince.

Do you believe this story? No! Neither did her mother

6. One day this frog was bored, so he decided to call the psychic hotline.

The psychic asked the frog “what do you want to know”

“Tell me something about my love life” said the frog.

“In the very near future you are going to meet a very beautiful young woman” said the psychic.

“Cool, where? at a disco or a party?” said the frog.

“No”, The psychic replied, “Next month in her biology class!”

7. A frog goes into a bank and walks up to the window. He can see from the teller’s nameplate that the teller’s name is Patricia Whack. So he says, “Ms. Whack, I’d like to get a loan to buy a yacht and go on a cruise.” Ms. Whack asks how much money he wants to borrow. The frog says around $100,000. Ms. Whack asks the frog his name and he replies “Kermit Jagger, it should not be a problem, I know the branch manager.” Ms. Whack explains that $100,000 is a large sum of money and that he will need to put up something as collateral against the loan. She asks “do you have anything as collateral?” Kermit says, “Sure, I have this,” and produces a small pewter cricket, about an inch tall. Stunned, Ms. Whack explains that she’ll have to speak with the branch manager and walks into an office at the front of the bank. She finds the branch manager and says: “There’s a frog by the named of Kermit Jagger out there who says he knows you and wants to borrow $100,000. He wants to use this as collateral.” She holds up the small pewter cricket. “Like, what is this thing suppose to be?” So the branch manager looks back at her and says: “It’s a knick, knack, Patti Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man’s a Rolling Stone.”

8. There was a scientist who was successful at cloning frogs, and he cloned one who could talk, but the frogs speech turned to swearing. The scientist could not stop the frog from swearing. He tried everything he could think of. Then one day he clacked two spoons together and the frog jumped off the table and “croaked”. The FROG POLICE arrived shortly after and arrested the scientist for …. making ” an obscene clone fall”

 

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